3 Reasons College Football is Better than NFL

Nothing beats "Neck" on an October night in Baton Rouge

Look, we all love the NFL. And what's not to love? Every Sunday, we mindlessly walk to our televisions like zombies to a bloody corpse to enjoy the highest level of the greatest sport in the world. And it always rocks.

But too often, we overlook how magical our Saturday football is. And I know it may be sacrilege to say this, but the college football slate on Saturday is often far superior to the "Kingsport" of the NFL.

Yes, the talent isn't better, the contracts aren't better, the coverage isn't better—blah, blah, blah. But there are certain things about the college game that are far superior to its big brother. Over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to give you three reasons why the college game kicks the NFL’s ass.

Reason #1 College Football is Better – The Sounds

Close your eyes and imagine with me: the sharp trill of a referee’s whistle…the musical violence of two 300lb bodies colliding…the soothing ASMR-like sprinkler sound that “Hard Knocks” uses like a siren song…Cris Collinsworth saying “Here’s a guy…”

Football is a beautiful, musical sport. The sounds truly amplify the sensory experience of the game.

But the college game is far fucking superior in all of the sound elements over the NFL.

Don’t believe me? Well, here we go.

When it comes to the fight songs, the NFL does not have shit on college football fans.

Fly Eagles Fly? Terrible. A half-hearted rendition of whatever the fuck the Miami Dolphins #1 song is called? Hard pass.

Give me 40,000 drunk undergrads and 60,000 other graduates/yokels screaming Rocky Top…or Hail to the Victors…or Boomer Sooner. The passion and the buy-in of the fans is unmatched by the NFL fans.

How about this? Both the Kansas City Chiefs and the FSU Seminoles use the War Chant, that endless chanting and arm swinging, to help lead their team to victory. If there was a Family Feud question of “What team does the war chant at sporting events?”, survey would fucking say FSU #1 over the Chiefs all day. And you know why? Because the sound penetrates the soul of even the layman sitting on their couch. I know the Chiefs fans are passionate, but they are not on that level with their sound.

(Important Note: The Minnesota Vikings Skol chant…that fucks. I will concede that is a college-like environment sound.)

Or how about the end of the 3rd quarter? You know that time in the game when NFL fans run down to the concession stands to get a beer before last call. You know what they are doing in Madison, Wisconsin? EVERYONE is jumping around. You know what they are doing in Gainesville? EVERYONE is not backing down. They are trying to will their team to get the W (and shaking their keys for some reason). Team first, selfish beer grabbing second.

But the greatest example of the superior sounds of college football happens at the drunkest of college environments: Baton Rouge, where the Louisiana faithful have been baking in the Bayou sun since the morning, gorging on gumbo and pounding cold one after cold one.

Sure, they may be drunk during the game. They are uncoordinated. They may even be mumbling. But then ”Neck” comes on. And every drunk Bayou Bengal fan rises from their drunken slumber like Lazarus from the grave. They get riled up…and everyone…and I mean…everyone from age 5 to 95 shouts “Suck that Tiger dick bitch.” It is in unison and rhythmic. I am sure even the Mormon Tabernacle Choir would be proud of their harmony.

Show me in the NFL where everyone is doing that lol.

What I am trying to say is that the sounds of college football are a symphony of passion and tradition that the NFL simply can't replicate. Whether it's the iconic fight songs, the chants that shake the stadium, or the unique third-quarter traditions, the auditory experience in college football is unparalleled. The NFL has its moments, but it can't compete with the raw, unfiltered soundscape of a Saturday game.

By the way, would you like to know my favorite NFL sound? The clock strikes 3:35 p.m. on the East Coast. We are midway through the 4th quarter, and every game is down to one score. And Scott Hanson, with his perfect timing and cadence, says this simple phrase like he is trying to seduce me: “The Witching Hour; where wins become losses, and losses become wins.” Full 6 to midnight.